*Warning: This post is not pleasant. It’s a bit sarcastic too. Some might even consider it sacrilegious and irreverent.*
John 9:2-3- As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. (NIV)
John 11:4- When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” (NIV)
1 Peter 1:6-7- In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
Bethany has suffered unimaginable torture upon torture in brain cancer treatments along with all the complications that brain injuries and brain surgery can cause.
She has suffered uncountable, debilitating constant seizures and medication side effects for nearly 13 years.
Too many times Bethany has been a slave to the unrelenting rituals caused by her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Too many times she physically and emotionally drains me with her relentless persistence in never ending requests for the unattainable and impossible.
Sometimes, Bethany quite literally kicks me out of bed in the morning. On these days I don’t even want to get out of bed because I know what trials and tribulations are ahead of me. In fact some days- too many days, I would rather just not even wake up at all!
Too many days my arms are black and blue from my shoulders to my wrists with Bethany’s pinch marks.
Too many times she pulls my hair, slaps me, and pushes me.
Too many times she violently melts down in public over something as benign as being redirected to the women’s room when she has mistakenly entered the men’s bathroom.
Too many times I have had to accept strangers’ help carrying my 140 pound kicking and screaming banshee out of a store, through the parking lot, and into the car.
Bethany doesn’t care who she hurts or what she destroys while melting down. She hit, kicks, pinches, pushes and pulls the hair of anyone in her path. She throws whatever she can get her hands on clear across the room. She chooses dangerous things to throw like vegetable cans, marbles, and rocks. She chooses expensive things to throw like iPads, iPods, and laptop computers. She hurls her chosen items with out a care in the world as to whether a person might be in the path of those items.
We have had to keep dangerous items like kitchen knives and hammers hidden or under lock and key for far too many years and will for far too many more years to come.
Too many days are way too hard, dangerous, sad, depressing, and painful. Too many days I feel completely and utterly hopeless and helpless. Too many days it is all I can do not to succumb to discouragement and despondency. Too many days I can barely lift myself up out of the deep dark pit of sorrow, despair, desperation, grief, and gloom that I’ve fallen into.
Try as hard as I might I just don’t see how this life of ours would cause anyone to think to themselves, ” Wow! These people really know how to glorify God! I want what they’ve got! If this is what living a Christian life is like, then I want to be a Christian too!
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