I really need chill out and give myself a break.
Bethany’s behavior therapist informed me that it sounds like I’ve been experiencing my own version of post traumatic stress disorder and apparently, I haven’t been doing a very good job of dealing with it!
It’s not just because of what has happened to Bethany either- her brain cancer and subsequent disabilities, though that is a large part of it.
I’ve also been dealing with a few of my own personal crises lately.
Recently I’ve realized some of the beliefs that I’ve held sacred for many years are just not cutting it anymore. And I’m not just talking about my spiritual beliefs either.
My blood pressure is a little too high.
I don’t sleep much.
The medication Bethany takes gives her insomnia. Many times we are both up until 2 or 3 a.m. for cryin’ out loud!
I experience a lot of pain in my legs, especially at night which also makes it nearly impossible for me to sleep.
I need to start working on ME- just a little!
It’s okay for me to lounge around in my jammies once in a while. Especially when the weather outside is frightful and no one is coming over and I’m not going anywhere!
It’s okay for me to sleep later than most others do. And not feel guilty about it!
I need to sleep.
I need to relax.
I need to recover.
I need to lower my blood pressure.
I need to somehow reduce my pain.
I need to take the time to contemplate, reflect, and just breathe!
I need to Decompress!