My Autistic Brain Tumor Survivor

Battling Depression and a Secret Revealed!

battling depression 2

It’s getting harder and harder for me to deny that the depression I’m feeling isn’t just a passing phase that I’ll snap out of soon.

Feeling depressed is nothing new for me.

I’ve been experiencing temporary bouts of depression since I was ten years old.

Every once in awhile, I just feel all melancholy and sad for a couple of weeks.

But always before, as suddenly as the depression descends upon me,  one day I suddenly wake up feeling fine and happy again.

I’ve been hoping that this time, I’ll snap out of it too, but this time it really does feel different.

So, I made an appointment to talk to my primary caregiver about it.

battling depression
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I have been feeling overwhelmingly sad and hopeless ever since I broke my shoulder last May.

I cry inconsolably almost every day.

I feel like there is no hope for the future.

I fear getting older.

I dread the nearing day that Bethany will need to live somewhere where without me.

I worry about her safety in the future.

I feel sorry for myself because of all the pain that a broken shoulder and physical therapy are forcing me to endure.

I have anxiety about maybe never regaining the range of motion in my shoulder.

And my leg pain and mobility issues are beginning to greatly reduce the quality of my life.

Now I can also add the bad news that is weirdly also kinda good news that I just got into the mix!

You know how I’ve mentioned a few times before that I have spinal stenosis and I thought its symptoms were worsening?

Well, I finally got in to see my neurosurgeon about that!

It turns out my x-rays showed that my spinal condition has actually improved slightly!!

So, why am I having so much pain in my hips and legs and having so much trouble walking, you might be wondering, just as I have?

Because the very same x-rays also revealed that I have severe bilateral arthritis in both hips!

I actually feel relieved by this new development!

I feel like I am finally on the right track to maybe feeling better soon!

I won’t need that nasty MRI of my spine done anymore, either.

(I have extreme claustrophobia and was soooo dreading that!)

And best of all, I won’t need any spinal surgery!

Maybe this is the start of things finally looking up for me!

I would so appreciate a few prayers, if you please, wish me luck, and keep your fingers crossed!

Millbrook Beach and Campgrounds

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8 Comments

  1. Phyllis at All Things Beautiful

    I wish I could give you a real hug, but I will have to settle for giving you a cyber hug. I am so sorry that you are going through this difficulty, and I wish I could really help. I will definitely keep you in prayer.

    Reply
    1. Sylvia (Post author)

      Oh dear Phyllis, your sweet comments make me feel so much better! I found out that I should get hip replacements. Hoping I will feel much better after that!

      Reply
  2. Victoria

    So sorry you are battling depression. Praying you can once again find your “happy place” and I’m glad you finally received a diagnosis that gives you some hope of feeling better.

    Reply
    1. Sylvia (Post author)

      Thanks for the prayers, Victoria. I do feel like I’m starting to feel a little better. It was recommended that I get both hips replaced. I’m hopeful that I will finally feel much better after that.

      Reply
  3. Beth @ BethinaBox.com

    Depression is horrible. I’m so sorry you’re suffering from it… I, too, have periods of depression which go as suddenly as they come. I’m glad you have the diagnosis which explains the pain. ((HUGS))

    Reply
    1. Sylvia (Post author)

      Thanks so much for your sweet comment! I just found out that I should get both my hips replaced. I look forward to feeling much better!

      Reply
  4. Adelaide Dupont

    Was wondering if you were seeing a rheumatologist, Sylvia?

    [for the arthritis which works on the bones].

    Reply
    1. Sylvia (Post author)

      I am seeing a doctor.

      Reply

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