My Autistic Brain Tumor Survivor

Christians, Please Stop Saying This to People In Crisis

christians, please stop saying this 2

I am a follower of Jesus!

Some people call that being a Christian.

I spent many years attending Christian functions and hanging around with other Christians.

Hearing and speaking Christian lingo was my norm!

“Praise the Lord”, “God is Good!”, and “God has blessed me!” are all relatively harmless phrases that most Christians spew out every now and then!

christians, please stop saying this
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However, there is one phrase that many Christians say that makes me cringe.

The phrase that really gets my blood boiling is,  “Have faith, and everything will be alright.”

It’s usually uttered by bigger than life, bold, and arrogant Christians to others who are suffering or experiencing some sort of crisis.

I don’t care how super spiritual you think you are, how much faith you think you have, or how close you think you are to God…You don’t really know that everything is going to be okay!

Oh it’s so easy to be a super spiritual big shot and tell others that if they have enough faith all their problems will be solved.

Because if their problems don’t get solved, you can blame it on them for not having enough faith!

Your superior spiritual reputation is upheld no matter what happens!

But what I don’t think you realize is how damaging it can be when you thoughtlessly speak those words.

When you tell people experiencing a crisis to “just have a little faith and everything will be okay” you just might be setting them up for the most devastating disappointment of their lives!

And they may never recover from it!

If things don’t turn out okay, these precious, hurting people may get so mad at God that they run as far away from Him as possible.

But more than likely, they’re going to blame themselves for not having enough faith to make God fix their problem and they’ll spend the rest of their lives trying to muster up more faith!

I know this because it happened to me.

You see, I’ve been told more than once that if I had enough faith, my daughter Bethany would be healed from all effects of having had brain cancer.

For far too many years, I believed it was my fault that she wasn’t being healed because I didn’t have enough faith and I can tell you that it has been devastating.

I wasted way too much precious time berating myself for not having enough faith to heal my daughter.

And even though I now know that this isn’t true, I still struggle with it from time to time.

It’s an idea that was placed in my head by careless and thoughtless Christians and I will never totally recover from such spiritual abuse.

I know of another instance where a woman in a church I was attending was wrongfully accused of a crime.

Everyone in the church told her not to worry because it was all going to be okay.

They told her to have faith in the prayers that everyone was saying on her behalf.

Tragically though, in the end, it didn’t turn out okay.

The poor woman was found guilty and had to pay for a crime that she did not commit!

Being told to have faith and then having her situation not turn out okay was so devastating to this woman that she now wants nothing to do with God at all.

My fellow Christians, I exhort you, please do not speak such careless and thoughtless words to people suffering or experiencing problems in their lives.

No one really knows for sure that everything is going to be okay…not even you!

Saying so is not helpful and in fact, it can be devastatingly and irrevocably harmful.

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2 Comments

  1. Joy

    “Have faith and everything will be okay” ?? I have never heard this expression before, nor do I believe it. Sure, we need to have faith, but relying on faith alone will solve nothing! Faith, accompanied by good works is what will help us get to heaven. There’s no promise of making our life here on earth easy, but it can help us to one day achieve our heavenly goal. Not everyone is destined for heaven, it has to be earned during our journey here on earth. This earthly journey is our exile.

    As hard as it is, we all need to be able, not only to have faith, but to ACCEPT our current situation and offer up our trials to God. I know, it sounds almost as aggravating as “Have faith & it’ll be okay”, but if we can’t accept our trials and look at them as blessings, then we’re getting nowhere in life. It’s HARD to do this – harder for some than others, but it’s what we must do. One saying I have heard almost all of my life is, “God never gives you more than you can handle, but just as much as you can bear.” God knows how much we can handle, and in His mercy, He will never give us more than we can handle, but oh, there are times when He tests us by allowing us to have just as much as we can possibly bear! And it is during those times when we are really faced with the test: “Do I just give up now ? Do I give in to temptation and say forget this! I don’t want this anymore! I give up!” OR Do we say, “God, I know you have allowed me to experience these sufferings for a reason, I trust that You know best, only please help to see me through this. Give me the strength and courage I need to endure this.” It is by doing this that we are accepting our current situation, and therefore gaining the graces we need to help us get to heaven.

    I hope this helped.

    Reply
    1. Sylvia (Post author)

      Oh yes! We do also need to acknowledge and accept our situations. I’ve also been told the opposite of that! Don’t accept it or you’ll curse yourself. It’s the same idea as “name it and claim it” theology only instead of claiming a blessing you are claiming a curse!

      Reply

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