If I could describe what life has been like after my daughter’s brain tumor diagnosis in just three words, I’d have to say, it’s undeniably been an “emotional roller coaster” for the past 18 years!!
We’ve definitely had our ups and downs right from the getgo.
There are no words that do justice to the despair, devastation, and fear my husband and I felt when we were told our baby had a life threatening brain tumor and would need surgery within 24 hours or she’d die.
That was the lowest of lows for sure!
Then being told her surgery was successful and she’d be happy and healthy again in just two weeks was the highest of highs!
How naive we were!
Because a few days later all the complications and setbacks began one. after. another. for nearly two months!
(Read more about that in detail at Bethany’s Brain Tumor Diagnosis)
Learning that Bethany had become physically and cognitively disabled and partially blind sent us back down to the low point again.
But slowly, inch by inch, we chugged our way back to the top of the roller coaster as Bethany, little by little re-learned how to sit up, walk, and talk again.
Then, just like that, Bethany’s acquired seizure disorder plunged us back down into the lowest point on the roller coaster of life!
But finding the medication that finally controlled her debilitating and daily grand mal seizures, after suffering with them for twelve years, was a miraculous victory that quickly shot us right back up to the top again.
Then there are the pesky uncooperative behaviors and depressing meltdowns that occasionally threaten to toss us over the edge of the roller coaster and splatter us deep down in the valley of devastation and despair again!
Yet, for every meltdown we experience, though it may be hard to remember in the midst of it, we know deep within our consciousness that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, because we’ve had way more happy moments than unhappy!
Every doctor visit, shopping trip, birthday party and holiday celebration that Bethany is happy, enjoys herself and does not end in a meltdown or bad behavior feels like the ultimate accomplishment and we find ourselves at the top of the ride again and all’s right with our world!
It’s like euphoria when that happens!
This August, life has lifted us up to the highest point on life’s emotional roller coaster and then plunged us right back down to the bottom again several times over and sometimes all in the very same day!
In my last post, Discouragement Abounds, I lamented over Bethany’s latest meltdown and the despair it triggered for me.
Then, just a couple of days later, her behavior at the dentist was stellar!
(As a side note: At nearly 20 years old Bethany still has never had a cavity ever!)
Now that’s something to celebrate!
After her dental check up Bethany asked to go to Walmart where she thoroughly and genuinely enjoyed looking around at all her favorite things: the fish, sunglasses, watches and ceramic banks!
Then she floored us by asking to buy a DVD!!
She almost never wants to buy anything, so we were excited about that!!
I still can’t believe we actually found a Blues Clues DVD,
Then again, just this past Sunday, we all had a blast at the zoo!
And so, once again, we find ourselves at the very tip top of the roller coaster that we call life!
It’s these top of the roller coaster moments that give us hope and keep us going.
If only we could just stay here forever!!!