It annoys me to no end when people exploit the pain and suffering of others to extol the super spiritual lessons they’ve learned from an illness or other misfortune that is not their own.
What irks me even more, is when parents use the pain and suffering of their own precious children to show off to the world just how super spiritually superior they are to their peers who have not had a child with a life threatening illness or disability.
Nothing quite says, “I Love You and Care About You” like declaring that your loved one’s cancer or whatever other horrible circumstance they may be dealing with, is a gift and a blessing!
Please, people…think about that for just one minute!!
That’s like telling your ill loved one that because their illness has taught you so many wonderful things and has brought you so many wonderful blessings, that you are glad they have gone through all this pain and suffering and that you are benefiting from their tragedy.
While I will be the first one to admit that I did receive blessings and I did learn many spiritual lessons through my daughter’s brain cancer and disabilities, I wish that I had not learned those lessons or been the recipient of those blessings at my daughter’s expense.
I would have gladly not received all those blessings or learned all those lessons to spare my daughter so much pain and torment.
I would rather have learned those lessons any other way than through my daughter’s pain and suffering.
I would rather have been the one to go through all that pain and suffering myself, in order to learn those lessons and receive those blessings.
If you feel that YOUR own cancer (or whatever misfortune you may be going through) is a gift or has been a blessing to you, that’s a-okay, fine and dandy!!
I totally understand.
But, please do not claim someone else’s pain, suffering or misfortune to be your gift or your blessing.
Super spiritualizing someone else’s suffering, pain, or misfortune by claiming it to be YOUR gift or blessing is demeaning, cruel and insensitive to the one actually enduring very real physical and emotional pain and suffering.
Please, when speaking about someone else’s unfortunate experience or illness, stop and think before you speak.
Give thought to how the person may perceive or interpret what you are about to say.
Before you speak, choose your words wisely and carefully, with concern for how the other person may feel about what you say.
Proverbs 12:18 ESV- There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
James 1:26 ESV- If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.
Proverbs 21:23 ESV- Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.
Proverbs 10:19 ESV- When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.