You may have noticed that the tagline here at Faith, Hope, and Love, states: “At Faith, Hope, and Love, we’re experts at turning crappy into happy!”
What my husband and I mean by that, is that we have become very good at doing our darndest to find some way of redeeming all of our daughter, Bethany’s crappy, unhappy days of suffering and finding ways to make life as happy as we possibly can!
It’s sort of like that old saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!
Please, trust me when I say that my husband and I know all too well what it’s like to have problems that are insurmountable.
We’ve spent the past 16 years, standing by helplessly, knowing there’s absolutely nothing we (or any doctors) can do to stop our daughter from suffering relentlessly with brain tumor treatments, uncontrollable seizures, medication side effects and more.
And we have watched our other children suffer because of that, too!
However, after going through the initial shock, anger and disbelief over nearly losing our child and having her become permanently disabled by a life threatening illness, my husband and I vowed that we would do everything within our power to turn our family’s crappy situation into as happy of a life as possible.
So how does one go about turning their crappy into happy?
While I’m certainly not a psychologist or therapist, but I can tell you how we have coped throughout our crappy situations!
We accepted and embraced our crappy situation. We don’t live in denial. We Acknowledged our situation. We faced it head on and then we took steps to adjust to our new normal.
We explored and assessed new options for our new way of life. With Bethany’s support team we created a new positive life plan, moved on, and started living life to the fullest!
We Don’t dwell on the “what ifs”. We don’t spend unhealthy amounts of time contemplating what we might have done differently or how life would be better if Bethany had never had a brain tumor. Dwelling on the “what ifs” accomplishes absolutely nothing even when there are things we could have done differently. The deed has been done. Accept responsibility for any mistakes made that may have contributed to your crappy situation, (if need be), then pick yourself up, brush off the dust, and get on with the business of finding ways to turn your crappy into happy!
We take full advantage of Bethany’s good days! After undergoing brain tumor surgery, Bethany spent months in the hospital hooked up to life saving medical apparatus. During that horrific time, turning her crappy into happy was me maneuvering her into a stroller while holding her brain drain at ear levels at all times, then pushing her and all her apparatus through the hospital corridors. Turning our other kids’ crappy into happy (and Bethany’s, too) was their dad bringing them to the hospital to visit us! Those walks and visits with her siblings became Bethany’s reason for living! Now 16 years later, Bethany has spent more time feeling sick and unhealthy than not, so when she does feel good we plan something fun for her to do. We try to take her out to her favorite places which often involves getting her together with her siblings who are now all grown up and living on their own!
We plan a fun activity to do after attending unpleasant appointments or meetings. We plan a fun activity like going to a museum, a park, the zoo, and eating out to give Bethany something to look forward to after we are done with annoying doctor appointments or uncomfortable medical procedures.
When all our kids were still at home, we always included them in the fun and not so fun activities as much as possible! When Bethany was little and still had many appointments far from home, we packed up all our kids and they traveled along with us. Our other kids loved staying at Ronald McDonald House! They enjoyed all the little perks that staying there had to offer them, like cable TV, free run of a kitchen well stocked with goodies, and free movie and local attraction passes. We used to refer to RMH as our vacation resort destination!!
As bleak as our situation can be at times, we strive to look for the good in the bad. I know this can seem like an impossible task at times, but I assure you, if you look long and hard enough you will find something good to dwell on. Even the teeniest positive thought can a give you a glimmer of hope in a seemingly hopeless situation!
And last but certainly not least, as heartbreaking as our crappy situations have been at times, we always try to find some humor in them. Laughing at crappy situations gives us a sense of power over them. We will not allow our crappy situations or any sadness and depression defeat us. Laughter can be very therapeutic and even has healing powers! It relieves stress and tension and makes us feel like the situation is not that bad.
Can you add anything to our list of things to do to turn our crappy into happy?
We’re always looking for more ways to make life better!
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